I just passed this phase where I felt lonely because no one had the same thoughts and mindset I have regarding how stuff going on in this uni.
I was determined to change the system, the people's mindsets, the people. But what power do I have if they don't even want to change themselves first? This is where stuff got rough because I just lost my hopes. It's like, why would I bother sacrificing myself for people ain't worth my time, they didn't even bother changing themselves to change the world they demanded for, they didn't even appreciate my sweat. Not so many people wanted to change stuff, and what could I change if I put myself in a battle consisting of me and only myself? I was thinking of quitting at this point, and decided to just think about my academic life. I have a lot to strive for anyways. One of which is going overseas through scholarships and coming back later, wishing to spread kindness and usefulness, and influence people to, at least, make my surrounding better. And boom. The thought just popped up: how could this mission be accomplished if I couldn't even change the stuff I talked about before? How could I go overseas, wishing to get some lessons in life and coming back later to influence other people and change my country for the better if I couldn't even change this small surrounding where I am now?
Enough ranting about other people who wouldn't change themselves because I just realised that I am one of them too. What makes me any different from them if I don't want to keep going in this battle? I wish to accomplish a bigger mission but I can't even make me motivated enough to finish the smaller mission I have started. From here now on, I have to change myself. I have to change my thoughts about how a certain amount of people can change the world. No. That is not right. Who says one person can't change the world? One thing to remember: big changes are started from a small change. As small as how you change your way of thinking. Be optimistic. Have some hopes hanging high. Strive to the last.
